Never the same
I’m a different person than I was a year ago. Very different. When I arrived to India last year I was ready to be swiped clean. Clean of the stories, labels, assumptions, and worries that I had carried around for lifetimes. When I arrived I vowed to not speak anything to anyone, that I didn’t want to be true- and to allow myself to follow my bliss. Moment by moment. Within those vows I watched my habits change, disease leave my body, and a pureness awaken inside of me that i had never experienced before (or not since I was a child) The month I spent here in India (Jan 2018) with my teacher @raghunathyogi changed who I was as a person, and that person had the courage to take on 2018 with a huge heart. I knew all year that I would have to come back to this place. Because for so much of my year I referred to my time in India, and my 300hr training as “the best 3 weeks of my life”—- Something in side me wanted to come experience it “again”. As I finally sit here. Few big things have dawned on me. I will never get that experience again. Ever. We never, ever, get the same experience twice. I will never get that time of my life, with those realizations, with THAT group of fabulous humans. Bitter sweet- I knew this- but not until I arrived here this year... as a different person, did it really hit me. That this will be different. As with each moment of life. Everything we expedience changes who we are- and therefore we get the chance each moment to open our hearts to the possibility of something new. The chance to embrace each moment as it is, without assumptions of how things should be based on our limited passed times. We begin, again. Every day. We evolve, grow, shift, tighten, sit in the fire.... then transform again. Always meeting ourselves where we are - and not one step ahead.
So often I reflect back ... “I was so happy then”- Or we project forward ..” I’ll be happy when..” .
But this mindset does not serve. When we allow ourselves to stay fragmented amongst time zones we miss the full capacity of our life in the Now. The only place the soul resides- The place where All Is Well.